Do you know about - Empower Yourself by Setting Goals, Part 2
Celebrate Recovery Meetings! Again, for I know. Ready to share new things that are useful. You and your friends."Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless."- Thomas A. Edison Us inventor (1847 - 1931)
What I said. It isn't outcome that the actual about Celebrate Recovery Meetings. You check this out article for home elevators that wish to know is Celebrate Recovery Meetings.How is Empower Yourself by Setting Goals, Part 2
Freeing Yourself From Your Past
Often we let our past get in the way of achieving our goals and dreams. I know you didn't have a perfect childhood, but I'll let you in on a secret: Nobody had that elusive, perfect childhood. All of our parents meant well, and they all messed-up at least once while raising you, and like it or not, you messed up (or will mess up) raising your own children. Life just doesn't work out the way we planned, but plan anyway, because it's the only way for you to have even a minuscule opportunity of controlling your life. Without plans or goals, you could stay stuck in the past. The past is gone, so it's time to move on. The past doesn't need to operate your present. When you wake-up each morning, you have a choice on how you chose to think. You might groan "I have to go to that lousy job," or you might wake up with an excited shout "I am so lucky to have my job, and it's going to be a fabulous day!" You can spend time ruminating (that's what cows do when they chew their cud) over abuse that happened during your childhood, use drugs or dysfunctional behaviors to help you forget the abuse, or you might tell yourself, "it's time to get over it. I am no longer a helpless child who can't operate what happens to me." You are now a powerful adult and nothing or no one can operate you unless you give them your permission. Are you giving negative thoughts free-rent in your head? Events in your life can't make you angry, happy or depressed. It's how you explain and react to these events that supervene in your thoughts and moods.
Suppose you meet person and fall in love. This is your dream partner, love of your life, your one and only, till death do we part, and you're walking on clouds feeling that you are the happiest person who ever lived. How would you feel if your partner came to you one day and said "I found person new, so get lost"? You'd be devastated. You might stay in bed and cry for weeks, or mope and find no pleasure in anything. Some habitancy would go to the ultimate of committing suicide. Now suppose that you have found person best and need to tell your partner that you want out. Dream the same scene with your partner telling you "I found person new, so get lost." Think about how differently you would feel, even though your partner's behavior was exactly the same in each scenario. You would be relieved that it is over, and maybe you'd go out and celebrate that same day. In the first scene you would feel awful and the second scene, with your partner acting identically, you would feel joyful. You see, it isn't your partner controlling your feelings, but rather it's you who is in control.
"But isn't it normal to feel sad when person close to me dies?"
Of course. You aren't a robot. I'm not telling you not to feel. I just want you to understand that you, and nobody else, is in operate of your feelings. Nobody can make you sad, happy, angry, depressed or overjoyed. Your feelings originate within yourself.
"But my physician says I have a biological disorder and need to take anti-depressants or anxiety pills."
Now, I am not a doctor, and I'm Not telling you to disregard your physician and stop your medications, but Dream how you would feel if you found out that you won a hundred million dollar lottery. Dream how you would feel if you fell in love. How would you feel if you gave birth to a beautiful, salutary baby? If you are still depressed, then you probably do have a biological disorder that needs to be treated medically. If you aren't, then the above are examples of a medical health being cured by your thoughts...and you belief you were powerless over your thoughts! Sometimes medication is significant to help you get through a tough time in your life, such as the death of a parent, but even then, it doesn't need to continue for years after the emergency has resolved. Now it's time to let your past go. Drinking, drugging, moping, or eating to excess isn't going to cure your past hurts, but ultimate behavior in any way can only make things worse in the long run.
"He who every morning plans the transaction of the day and follows out that plan, carries a thread that will guide him through the maze of the most busy life. But where no plan is laid, where the disposal of time is surrendered merely to the opportunity of incidence, chaos will soon reign." -Victor Hugo, French dramatist, novelist, & poet (1802 - 1885)
Proactive And Reactive
I'm sure you have known people, and you may even be one, who goes from emergency to crisis. They all the time seem to have a question of the week, and lowly events for others come to be serious traumas for them. They live their life as though they were production snowballs and rolling them down a snowy slope. They start with something small and easy to manage, but end up with huge boulders.
This is like Sad Sammy, who forgot to put gasoline in his car and then get stuck on his way to work, lost his job for not getting there, couldn't pay his rent, and ended up living homeless on the street, all because he didn't stop at a gas center on time.
Then there was Hungry Hanna who didn't pay her electric bill and threw away the warning turn-off notice. She felt depressed because she couldn't pay her electric bill so to help her feel better, she went shopping and bought enough food for a month, but the next day her power was turned off, and all her food spoiled.
Sammy and Hanna were living their lives reactively. Rather than being proactive and taking care of small problems, they waited until their problems became huge and unmanageable. Then Sammy and Hanna had to react to the problem, trying to fix it. How much best off they would have been if they had been proactive, and taken care of basic day to day problems up front. Putting gas in your car, paying your bills, and getting to work on time are all part of normal everyday activities. habitancy who fail to proactively take care of their basic needs end up living in a reactive emergency mode, spending all their time and energy picking up the pieces rather than preventing the question in the beginning. Living a reactive life promotes relapse back into your addiction. Setting small everyday goals and completing them helps you stay in a proactive state. Take care of problems at the top of the hill, when they are snowballs, rather than pushing them down the hill and waiting for them to come to be boulders.
"It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required."- Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 - 1965)
Roadblocks are patterns of thinking, as described by Dr. Stanton Samenow and Dr. Samuel Yochelson, that supervene in life problems. Dr. Samenow and Dr. Yochelson found that these are common mental errors of criminals and drug addicts. Dr. Albert Ellis also described varied mental patterns that lead to life problems in midpoint habitancy without serious criminal or substance abuse problems. He called these irrational beliefs. Throughout this book, I will be presenting the work of these men, concepts that often overlap, and helping you learn to discover your own mental patterns and the roadblocks you use that are harmful to your own happiness and mental health.
Roadblocks
Avoiding Duties and Obligations.
Avoiding your duties and obligations by forgetting, putting them off, or depending on others to do them for you will supervene in a reactive life-style, where you spend unnecessary time and energy trying to fix problems that never needed to happen in the first place. Responsible habitancy take care of their obligations up front. Failure to meet your obligations is a clear risk factor that will growth stress in your life and ultimately lead you back to your addictions.
Choosing Only What is Self-Gratifying.
Life isn't a fairy-tale story where you only need to do what pleases you. An attitude like that is evident when habitancy begin experimenting with drugs or other serious addictions. Sure, getting high, drunk is self-gratifying for the moment, but there are serious long-term consequences because you are abusing your brain and body. You need to find a equilibrium between enjoying yourself in a responsible manner and taking care of your obligations, so that your life remains manageable. Failure to meet obligations will lead you to feeling that your life is out of control. You can take back operate of your life by doing significant things, such as going to work and paying bills, even if they are not enjoyable in the moment. The long-term outcome is greater peace and comfort.
Minimizing or Denying Behavior.
Many habitancy find it much easier to minimize or deny their behavior than to look at themselves honestly. You know you are doing this if you use the words "only, but, or just." "Sure I drank until I passed out, But it was New Years." "I Only used a minuscule cocaine." "I Just had one 12-pack. I don't know why you are production such a big deal about my driving home." "Just one piece of cake won't hurt my diet, I can start again tomorrow." "I Only want to enjoy myself this once." "It won't hurt to gamble one more time, I Just want to win back my losses" "Sex with a stranger won't hurt, it's Only one time. I won't catch Aids" Watch out when you start mental "I don't admittedly have a problem." "There's no hypothesize for me to continue contact with my reserve people" or "Just one won't hurt." Such mental is often the first step to a planned relapse, and all relapses are planned. I don't use the word "slip" unless I'm talking about person falling on a banana peal. That's a slip. Returning to your addiction or dysfunctional behavior is a "planned relapse." You won't relapse unless you set that as one of your goals, and begin working on achieving that goal by cutting ties with salutary habitancy and activities. Your relapse begins when you start seeking out activities and habitancy (people, places and things) that will lead you back into your dysfunctional or addictive behaviors.
"That you may reserve your self-respect, it is best to displease the habitancy by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong."- William J. H. Boetcker
Set your goals and resolutions with care, for anyone you plan is likely to happen. Chose your company well, for they are the model for your future. Engage in activities that lead to a salutary life. Have a very happy New Year, and I hope this article helps you stay on your path to recovery.
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